Greeting Card Poems

  Santa's Accident In the North Pole, there arose a clatter, Santa slipped on ice, his presents all-a-scatter The elves didn’t worry they said it didn’t matter , Now Mrs. Claus must make Christmas swagger. With a bandaged knee and not feeling jolly , Santa's recovery was tracking so poorly His doctor said to venture out would be folly, Mrs. Claus  must share the ivy and the holly. She hitches the reindeer, checks her list twice, No need for worry, she's got this, how nice! Through chimneys she'll squeeze, like a festive spice, Santa's in bed, sipping cocoa, his knee on ice. So, Merry Christmas to all, don't you fret, Santa's healing, but Mrs. Claus is set. A jolly delivery, there's no need to bet, She's the new star of this Christmas duet!

 Politically Correct Santa Things had become so difficult up at the North Pole The elves had become unionized they’d put everything on hold They said Santa was a bore, he wasn’t politically correct “So we’re shutting you down, there’s work bans in place.” Said the shop steward elect And so before he'd had a chance to call his lawyer  Santa had become an equal opportunity employer  So now in the workshop at his North Pole home Santa employs dwarves, sprites and gnome And now the factory floor will feature Every imaginable fairy-tale creature So Santa’s helpers are now of all sorts In the Vertically Challenged Union, VCU for short And what of the big man, Santa himself Is he a man or just a big elf? With a flowing white beard and a jolly old smile He hasn’t seen his toes in quite a while His coat is too small and his suit a bit tight But he’s the right weight for a man twice his height He used to be jolly, he used to be gay. But that word has a new meaning these days Still ...

  Christmas Poems Then out from the stables there arose such a clatter But the RSPCA were there to see what was the matter There in the stables Santa found a sight quite strange NO reindeer to be found, they now were free range This gave them more energy to get the sleigh lifted Heaven knows they need it ‘cause Santa’s horizontally gifted But what of the reindeer like Doner and Cupid They’re running free, you know they’re not stupid Since been released they’re flying much faster All this because of the fresh greener pasture But now because of work embargoes Santa can’t use Rudolf’s red nose When delivering presents he’ll have to move fast Or else get caught and charged with trespass. But there’s still time for cookies, milk and not beer Cause the booze buses are out in force this year It’s no good for Santa to blow .05 Then he’ll have to be a passenger, Mrs Claus will have to drive Santa’s sleigh full of gadgets it’s become hi-tech There’ll be no need for the RTA to inspect But sti...

 Bon Voyage Poems Bon Voyage, my friend, may you always have a favourable tide Sailing on the ocean green, that’s oh, so wide With the dolphins always as your guide Leading to adventures on the other side Bon Voyage, my friend, in distant lands, may you explore But please stay safe, this I implore Maybe a glass of wine you will pour But you’ll have lots of fun, of that I’m sure Bon Voyage, my friend,  please don’t lose your way Even if your GPS goes astray So please don’t think you have to stay Just stay the course, this I pray. Bon Voyage, my friend, may there always be wind in your sail And you find your destination without fail I hope your senses don’t rail And laughter always assail. ~~~###~~~ Sail away my friend with a joyous heart With a suitcase of dreams you’re ready to start And a lifetime of wisdom you seek to impart So, bon voyage from your friends, you depart. ~~~###~~~ Bon Voyage! I hear you’re having a holiday Boy Voyage! I hear you’re going away Bon Voyage! But ...

 Retirement Poems Your work life’s over there’s nothing you’ll miss In a hammock you’ll swing in bliss No more morning alarms, no more traffic No more searching for the ultimate graphic. No more will you go to meetings grim Just the golf clubs, bowls or gym Your time is yours to do what you want No more office for you to haunt And now your time is up and the day is nearly done It’s time that you took your leave, it’s time that you were gone So, raise glasses and we wish you good cheer Now get the heck out of here ~~~###~~~ I hear that your leaving , you’ll finally be gone Retirement’s here, work is over and done No more office stress, just relaxation real slick, Golf clubs or fishing rods you can take your pick But maybe a grey nomad is more your style So, you might be gone for quite a while Parking your van wherever life takes you Lost with your partner under the sky so blue But it won’t be long for you’re leaving today There’s nothing left for me to say Except for good luck and g...

 Wedding Poems To the happy couple so joyous, so bold May your love never tire, never grow old And now that you’re married, you’ve a ring on your finger We wish that your lover never wanders, but always lingers May your love be as sturdy as your cake’s bottom tier Growing in strength to strength, year after year. But if you find that with time your love starts to tire Trust in each other to rekindle the fire And as you go through life, hand in hand Have faith and try to understand That when life throws up challenges, as surely it will Let your love for each other help you up the hill Now the ceremony's over, it's time for some fun, Eat, drink, and be merry, 'til the setting of the sun. With family and friends, you'll celebrate right, So here's to a wedding that's pure dynamite! ~~~###~~~ “In sickness and in health, for richer or poor" These are the oaths, today,  you swore Forsaking all others never wanting more And when arguments ensue never keeping score ...